I HATE MONDAYS!

Sunday 9th of February 200323:49normally people are asleep at this time, but since the results are coming tomorrow and I know I’ll probably be plagued by horrible nightmares- why bother trying?Also have to get my stupid poems to porky[Bad username: “x5_536”. I hope I did this right cos there’s something wrong with these:”” … I can’t seem to be able to bend them the other way!(oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh! This is how you do that!!)So here I am, getting totally bored. Waiting for midnight to arrive so my life’ll get a bit interesting. Did I say I have become an addict to stargate slash fanfic? I dunno whether to laugh or cry out in frustration(and maybe jealousy) when reading about dj getting laid… its just that he’s being pictured as an intergalactic slut instead of the babe he really is in these stories. Some of them are pretty hilarious though. Like the one where we learn that Janet calls her vibrator Teal’c or Daniel depending on her mood… or the one where Major Davis is acting like a starved nymphomaniac…When I first met youMy head went ‘hum’But then you dumped me with a ‘boum!’And my ass went ‘shlroom!’ (with diarreah)You make me sickDiarreah and constipationHysterics and depressionI can’t believe I let you Turn me into sucha slobIt Vill never happen again!So fuck Valentine’s day!Go flush these cards awayJust save me the chocolate heartsSo I’ll be pimply and uglyAnd no guy(except if reeeeeeely desperate) will ever look at meWhen I fall in loveWhen I fall in love, it will be foreverI will see your face And your movements full of graceTo me you will look like a supermodelThough you’ll more likely be like a trollBut I’ll never find you drollAnd will always want to be your belleMaybe you’ll be horribly fatMaybe you’ll smell like a sewer ratMaybe you’ll have only rotten teethMaking your mouth constantly reekBut I will not careCoz to me, it’ll be the perfume that you wearWhat if you act like a monkey? And have teeth like a donkey?I’ll love you anywayAnd tolerate you, come what mayI tried with all my mightBut I just can’t get it rightI don’t understandWhy yours refuses to bendMine is big and malleableThough you insist small is more pleasurableI caress mine when I’m in bedSometimes till it turns bright redIt’ll swell when being held real tight And never give up without a fightIt will work all day and nightIt will always make my mornings brightNow that you know of all its featsAccept that I have the most beautiful feet!Wank and scratchfinger, ruler, pen or forkI’ve tried it all but noyhing’ll workI just end upgettingg itchyBut never manage to get hornySometimes I think I’m a frigid galOr maybe I need help from a palEven my friends are taking betsOn whether I’ll ever get wetPaint brushes make me scratchyAnd bamboo sticks hurt me like hellI go to bed at night but can’t sleep wellWith stuck cardboard pieces, sleep don’t come easySometimes I wwonder if I’ve not cut my clitGranny’s scissors must have torn it to bits!